Текст песни Concierge

It was a terrible day. My legs felt like four pounds
of cheese in a two-pound bag.
I didn't know what to do. My eyes were bloodshot,
and actually my legs were bloodshot as well.
It was strange, but I was happy.
I got into my car. I decided I was going to leave the
city. Gonna go south, gonna have a holiday.

So I got in my car and I wondered why it wasn't running
and then I realized I didn't have any keys.
So I went in the house, found my keys,
came back out, started the car, and drove down the highway.

The highway shimmered like black incense on the bald
head of a Buddhist monk. I drove down the highway and
I got to that big city of Miami.
The steaming, seedy city - the city that's so seedy,
the have trees there. Well I went into the nearest
hotel and I went up to the door and I said,
"I'd like a room." Then I realized I was outside and
I had to go inside. So I went inside and I walked up
to the desk and I said, "I'd like a room, please."

They said allright, and they gave me a key.
Then I turned around, and there waiting for me was the Concierge.

Concierge! (repeated many times)

Well he looked at me, then I looked at him,
then he looked back at me,
and then I took a putty knife and I rubbed it against
his cheeks in a very provocative way.
And he turned around and said, "Follow me."

So I followed him up the stairs.
I went to my room. He opened the door for me,
and then he hit me in the back of the head with a big
silver shovel. I said, "What's that about?"

He said, "You get it free with the room." Who was I to argue?
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And I went in. My whole room was covered with soap.
Little soaps, all over the room,
everywhere! In the bed, on the ceiling,
everywhere! I said, "What's with the soap?"

And he says, "What, you don't like soap?"

I said, "No, I'll take it, thanks."

He left the room, and then gave me a stare that almost
turned my blood to blood. Anyway,
I lay down on the bed, and it was a hot day so I was
tossing and turning, and tossing and turning.
And then the soap started to lather up and lather up!
And I was gonna die! I was gonna suffocate!
So I called the front desk, and they sent up the Concierge!

Concierge! (repeated many times)

Well he looked at me up and down,
and he looked at me like I was four pounds of shit
in a two- pound bag. And I looked back at him like
he was four pounds of shit in a four-pound bag.
And then he looked at me like I was six pounds of shit
in a pound-and-a-half-bag.
And I looked at him like he was 18 kilograms of shit
in a thimble. And then I stabbed him in the face.
And then he bit my head off and put it in a bag.
And that's when I fell in love with the Concierge.

Concierge! (repeated many times)

Now we live in a small beach house on a small beach
on Long Island - it's a long,
small island, but I love it well.
And he loves me well. And sometimes we take a trip
down the highway that's glistening like a Buddhist
monk with incense ablaze, and we think of the day we
first met - me, and the Concierge.

Concierge...